


Cry My Name

by Venustas



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural AU
Genre: Angels, Completed, Cute, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I WANTED IT TO BE, M/M, SPN - Freeform, Sad, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Sweet, almost, but - Freeform, castiel - Freeform, deanwinchester - Freeform, no, nosuchthing, samwinchester - Freeform, supeewholock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:36:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2094240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venustas/pseuds/Venustas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm fulfilling a request from @Gay.stiel via Instagram. She's really nice! Check her out!</p><p>Sorry it ended up not being a smut.</p><p>Castiel Matthews is a reporter in the 50s-60s and is investigating the homosexual community. Dean Winchester is the leader of a gang in Chicago, which is where Castiel happens to be recording information for his report.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Old Chicago

Fashion gods, homeless, druggies, rich folks, and a gang. Chicago had it all. What it didn't have, was a reporter named Castiel Matthews... not until November 29, 1957.

***

"How are you, sir?" The flight attendant was as lovely as ever. Even the service was fantastic. She handed him his glass of water and set the tray of breakfast in front of him.

"Marvelous, young miss. I appreciate your kindness." He nodded his head as he thanked her and a blush sprouted on her cheeks.

"Well that is quite nice to hear, sir. Beautiful sunrise, is it?" The sun was off in the horizon, rising just as fast as the plane had the following evening.

He glanced over at the sunrise. "Yes, it is young miss. It's a sight to see. 'Blessed to be able to view it from such a perspective." She nodded and smiled at his stunningly, handsome voice.

"I'm available when you need me. Just ring your service bell." She curtsied and removed herself from the area.

***

"Good mornin', Mr. Matthews," the limo driver greeted politely as he opened the door. "Tis' a fine day in Chicago." Castiel nodded in agreement and slid into the spacious backseat. "'Suppose we're goin' to the Hotel Monaco?" The reporter nodded his head when his limousine driver looked into the rearview mirror.

The drive was a mere 30 minutes or so, but it was still some time for Castiel to think about his plans for the big city. He had heard quite a bit about the man of a gang. They called it, S.W.A.G. 'Secretly We Are Gay' was one of the largest gangs in all of Chicago. That week, Castiel Matthews was there to find and meet them.

Receding from the back seat, the driver carried his luggage behind him. The receptionist was fairly pleasureful, but a tad slow. "Thank you, miss." He imparted his thanks and tipped his hat to the fellow who had transported his luggage. At once, he was off to his limousine and out of the drop-off zone.

***

The five-star hotel was aesthetic to the eye. The drapes had been ironed, the sheets were a pure white, and the room smelled of caramel and marshmallows.

Before he could enjoy the immaculate room, the telephone rang on the night stand. "Hello?" he answered.

"Hello mister Matthews. You have a guest in the lobby. He goes by the name of Winchester." Castiel clenched his fists in surprise and and his eyes broadened. The investigation has begun.


	2. New Face

His hands gripped at each other nervously after straightening his suit and tie. ‘Dean Winchester,’ his thoughts came periodically just like the waves of fright. ‘Leader of S.W.A.G., eh? Coming to see me?’ The lobby had gotten about ten times more humid due to the fact that it had filled more. He glanced around slowly, searching for the familiar wanted face.

 

A hand slapped his back and he jumped, startled. “How you doin’, sir?” a deep voice came from behind him. Sweat poured from his brow knowing that Dean Winchester would never leave his quarters without firearms.

 

“Good morning, Mr. Winchester—“ Dean immediately cut him off.

 

“I go by Winchester or Dean. Never title me that again or I’ll consider gutting you.” he hissed like poison. Castiel exhaled sharply and Dean broke into a laugh. “I’m messin’ with ya.” he snorted. “Come along.” His chuckles continued to fill what seemed like now, a monotonous lobby.

 

***

 

They sat at the café on the corner and requested two black coffees. “How did you find me?” Castiel almost demanded an answer.

 

“Easy, man. I’ve got eyes everywhere.” Castiel stared in concern for his own safety. “Even now, I got my boys n’ girls eyein’ us.” He snickered once more and sarcastically whispered, “But I don’t think ya got it in ya to try anythin’.” Castiel’s mood was still laced with nerve, but Dean Winchester, by god, that man had a contagious laugh. Soon, the reporter was chuckling alongside him, but it didn’t hide his fear.

 

His cachinnating ended abruptly as did Castiel’s. “I presume ya got a few interrogatives?” The reporter nodded shortly, reaching for his pocket. Dean flipped a handgun to Castiel’s face and smirked. “What do ya think you’re doin’?” Castiel glared at him in utter shock. People screamed and ran from the café. Others hid behind the tables. Some even ran into the back kitchen for shelter from the murderous item.

 

“The query sheet,” he sputtered. “It’s in my pocket.” Consternation gripped at his face and Dean lowered his firearm. He nodded for him to proceed and he did just that, keeping one hand up in submission.

 

“We need to get outta here. Oinks’ll be here soon.” Castiel rotated his head in disorientation. “The cops,” Dean finally elucidated. “Now come on.”

 

***

 

Castiel was led to an alley far from the café. Two armed men stood outside of the door. “Don’t get any ideas, alright? This ain’t the location.” The men nodded and opened the rusty black door, allowing their leader and the reporter to slide in.

 

It was pitch black and there in the middle sat a table with two chairs. The small lamp on the table suggested that he wanted this room to be weakly lit. He was finally alone with Dean. The thought made a blush rise of his cheeks and pushed him into a grin. “Sit,” The green-eyed man demanded. “And wipe that smile off of your face.” It dropped immediately and sat just as told. “This is going to be fast and easy, alright?” When those words spilled from Dean’s mouth, his mind wasn’t referring to the interview.

 

“Yes Mr.—“ he cut himself off. “Yes, Dean.” He wiped his brow quickly to remove the sweat that poured over as a waterfall did. He was nodded at to continue and Castiel began.

 

“Why do you think the homosexual community is treated the way it is?” Dean growled under his breath at the question.

 

“It’s revolting how people treat gays just because we love our own gender.” He sighed quickly. “And the bisexuals are always picked on because they love everyone and not just one sex.” The subject was obviously a sore one.

 

“Many apologies go out to you,” he whispered in guilt. He hadn’t always kept a clean mouth on this subject until recently. “What made you realize you were gay?”

 

“This man, he told me he could help me understand why I was so nervous around handsome gentlemen.” A grin crossed his face at the reminiscence of it.

 

“How did he help you?” Dean’s smile grew wider as he remembered more in-depth.

 

“Would you like me to show you?” Castiel hesitated at first, but agreed knowing it was better to have a first-hand experience.

 

In seconds, the Winchester had gripped his suit and pushed him against the wall. Castiel's lips were parted just like Dean's were. The distance between their lips was no more. The reporter didn’t want to stop. It felt natural. It felt… real. The gang leader's erection pressed to his, and they breathed heavily. "Dean," he whispered thickly as there was a space between their mouths. "What are you doing to me?"


	3. New Dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! I altered the end of Chapter 2. Please go back and read it if you haven't!

"No, stop." Castiel's voice was subtle against Dean's lips, only making him crave more when he pulled away. 

"If you insist," he smirked as he backed away. "Shall we?" He motioned to the table and chairs again. And then it hit him.

The blue-eyed man stand aghast at the recent events. "I need to go," Castiel tore out of there quickly, and Dean let him go. He knew that every  Tears streamed down the interrogator's face in confusion. 'What's happening to me?' he pondered, terrified. His plan was to abscond town immediately, and NEVER come back. He knew that if anyone would have seen him, the first word on their lips would be, "faggot". He shuddered as he ran until he could no more. The dyspnea took over as he slowed and leaned against the nearby building. The cloudy day began dumping rain on the Chicago streets heavily. It drenched him gradually as the sidewalks cleared. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a man. His hair was a brown-grey tint. Shivering and homeless, he walked through the cold showers. A cough surfaced and he fell to his hands and knees. Immediately, Castiel's recent emotions had vanished. Sympathy came over him and he sprinted over. "Sir?"

The destitute man looked up after the fit of coughs had ended. He stood quickly and backed away. "Please don't hurt me," he pleaded jouncing against the wall. "I don't have anything." Even through the curtain of large rain droplets he could see the man shivering.

"No, no. I don't want to hurt you," he explained. "I want to help you." He removed his wet coat, and placed it over the ill man. He gripped at the sides of the jacket to close it and reserve heat. 

"God bless you, young sir." A smile grew. "The world does not have enough people like you." 

Castiel smiled at that elder man. "Would you come with me so I can help you further?" The intestigator felt bubbly. It was a new feeling. It was forgeign, but it felt so amazing. The man's eyes widened. 

"I would never burden you as so," he declined politely. 

Castiel only shook his head, "Not a burden, only a pleasure to asist you." It had taken a bit of convincing, but finally they were able to get out of the rain and into a taxi. "What's your name?" he asked out of curiosity. 

"Bobby," he mumbled. "Bobby Singer." 

 

***

 

The baroque hotel lobby smelled of wet dog and was filled with a groups of extravagantly dressed misses and sirs. Bobby was sure to feel out of place in such a place, but it did not halt Castiel from taking him to the room. 

"I cannot thank you enough, mister." He appreciated every bit that the investigator was doing for him. Castiel handed Bobby a towel, a pair of pajama pants and a white shirt. He nodded towards the lavatory. 

"If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask." The rainy day shown through the bathroom window dimly. Bobby nodded and shut the door. Almost simultaneously, there was a bang on the door and a shout. 

"Let me go!" Bobby's voice was loud enough that it could bust an ear drum. "No!" Another crash made Castiel leap to his suitcase for his handgun. 

"Come out!" he vociferated. He cocked his gun at the door. The knob twisted slowly and he tensed. It opened quickly and he lowered his gun immediately, dropping it even. 

"Hello," Dean snorted. "Happy to see me?" Castiel growled as the Winchester continued. "You didn't think I was going to let you leave so quickly... did you?" He laughed at the shock covering the interrogator's face. 

"Is he hurt?" He made Bobby his responsibility and would feel horrible if he had gotten injured for his a matter that was his own fault. Dean didn't answer. "Is. He. Hurt?" Castiel snarled. Finally the other persona shook his head. "Good." he said bluntly. 

"You must be wondering why I am of pressence?" A nod ensued and Dean began his explanation. "First, you left this." He was tossed a small paper with his own style of scribbles. "Second, I wasn't finished." 

Castiel shook his head. "I was." Before he could further his explanation, Bobby stumbled out of the bathroom. "Go ahead and cleanse yourself. I apologize for this." He exhaled sharply and continued to shut the bathroom door once more. 

"I just want to know... did you enjoy it?" There was no way that he could lie. It felt natural. He enjoyed every second of it and even craved more as they spoke. 

"Yes," he whispered.

"How would you feel about being a recruit into S.W.A.G.?" Castiel's jaw dropped slightly, stammering. 

"I-I'm not--" He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. 


	4. Old Feelings

The musky air made Cas nauseous. "I'm not a queer!" He didn't want to believe it. He knew the world was not kind to them.

"You enjoyed it. You enjoyed feeling sexual relations with a male." Dean's voice was gruff. "That makes you homosexual, Cas." Cas growled under his breath. 'God damn this is so frustrating,' His thoughts were ruthless.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." Dean's breath hitched for a moment. His understanding expression dropped to anger. The glare was deadly. He shook his head slowly. It was painted with a big 'no'.

"So you're just going to leave? Huh?" Dean was angry. It was overpowering. "You're just going to allow me a teaser and then leave me wanting more? Craving more? Needing more?" The Winchester rose quickly and slammed his fists on the wall. "No." he hissed.

"I'm sorry," he tried.

"No you're not. You're just afraid for the world to see yourself." Pain ripped through Castiel's face. "You're scared of the names. The hate. The way they think they can control you." It was true, all of it. He was terrified of what people thought. "You can run, but in the end..." his voice trailed softly. "it will always win."

Castiel stared blankly for a few minutes before deciding. "I'll do it," he muttered. "I'll be a part of S.W.A.G., okay?"

"Okay." his voice cracked, still refusing to face the reporter.

***

It was official. Castiel Matthews was a member of S.W.A.G., but also Dean's new boyfriend...

It had been 3 months since both events, and Castiel couldn't think of a better way to live. It had been a few days since Cas had returned from his trip to New York. Dean never approved of planes thinking that they had a large possibility of crashing.

The bed was warm and soft, especially with each so other close. Cas nuzzled Dean's neck softly and began nipping. "Right now?" he muttered, half awake. The reporter chuckled against his neck lightly.

"Yes, right now." he whispered.

Cas slid a hand across Dean's nether regions. "No," he groaned softly. "Darling, not tonight." Cas sighed, rolling back to his side of the bed.

"Have I done something?" He and Dean hadn't done anything more than kiss in the past nearly 2 weeks.

"No Cas, we need to talk about this later." Dean didn't want to discuss such a topic at this hour.

"So I have done something. What did I do?" He pressed on for an answer. Dean shook his head and rolled over facing Castiel. Dean huffed and buried his face in his pillow. "Please?"

Dean lifted his head towards Cas quickly. "I told you I don't want to talk about it right now!" He got up swiftly and stormed over to the couch to stay for the rest of the night.

***

Two weeks and three days later, it was early March of 1958. Dean kissed Cas on the cheek before they departed for the café on the corner.

The rain was subtle and the streets were quiet aside from the cacophony people at the window shops generated. "I love you," Cas whispered every so softly. Even though they would never be allowed to perform any kind of public affection, they still made a heart with their hands to show love in return.

"Do you want a blueberry muffin?" he inquired. "Or a banana nut muffin?" He said this with a snooty tone, making Cas laugh. He held up a two and Dean set off to the counter to retrieve two banana nut muffins for each other.

They seated at a booth and Dean pulled a pen from his pocket. Grabbing a napkin, he tugged off the cap with his teeth. He wrote until the napkin was filled, and nudged Castiel. "Huh?" He reached out and the Winchester placed it in his hand. He read it. All the words flowing through his mind; it made him nearly cry.

'Dearest Castiel Matthews,

You are my love, my life, my everything. You make it possible to love life and you've helped me so much. Every little thing you do may seem so immaterial to some, but to me it is everything. I think that if God didn't love gays, then he wouldn't have ever created us and allowed it to happen. Happy describes how you make me feel constantly. Everything happens for a reason and I think that meeting you was the best. I love you.'

A tear released from Cas' eye and slowly out up his hands. Each one forming half of a heart. He joined them together and Dean smiled at him, feeling the emotion spread to him too.

"Let's take a walk," Cas suggested. "I know some empty streets." he smiled and grabbed Dean's hand and ran out. He didn't even care about the few gasps and mutters he heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to have some good stuff next chapter >:) Though I won't specify what the good stuff will be. From feels all the way to smut. I guess it's just a spontaneous decision.


	5. New Tears

The light rainfall had become slightly more vehement. The empty streets were so lonesome and dejected. That didn't stop the couple from enjoying the serein. Dean pressed Cas against the buildings. Their hands converged over the reporter's head, lips joining. "Promise me," he whispered on his lips. Dean's words were dulcet. Castiel's blue eyes were sharp. The color was more vivid than ever. "Never leave me."

The Winchester could feel a smile on his lips, even though they weren't his own. "Promise," he assured.

They continued their walk on the broken roads with a smile. "Faggots!" Both faces spun towards the sound. The car sped out of the parked spot and came nearer. They ran hand in hand as fast as they could.

The '54 Buick had torn down the street. "Move!" Dean pushed Cas out of the way, trying to follow as bullets began flying at the car. Cas fell on the sidewalk and looked up in time to see Dean get slammed against the front bumper.

"Dean!" Cas jumped from his spot as the assault had come to an end. Dean was motionless on the road. Blood poured from the back of his head where the road had collided with it. "Dean," he gasped. "No, baby, stay with me." Tears drenched his hands and Dean's hair. He shut his eyes, hoping for it to all be just some sick joke.

The ruthless rain had not let up. He needed to get Dean to a hospital. He ripped his t-shirt off and held it to Dean's head wound. The body jerked and more tears fell from Cas' eyes. "I'm so sorry," he whispered with heavy breaths. The walk to a street that he could find a taxi on was short. The body motionless, he shouted for anyone to hear. And soon help came.

***

"Mr. Matthews, your brother is in a prolonged unconscious state; a coma." Cas bit his lip to hold back tears. "He does not have a high chance of waking up, or for that matter, surviving. The damage to his reticular activating system is not major, but it again, does not have much of a chance." Doctor Tennant sighed. "I'm sorry. It is your choice now. Do you want to keep him on life support?"

Cas would never let Dean die. He knew it was his responsibility to take care of him just as he had done for Castiel. "I want to keep him on life support." His voice was gruff to hide any emotion.

"As you wish, sir."

***

"Hey darling," Cas whispered. He held Dean's hand in his own. "I don't know if you would want me to move on," He paused to choke down sobs. "But, I won't." He smiled and laced his fingers through Dean's. "I hope you know that every day I had, and ever will have with you-- it's all a blessing." He wiped two more tear drops from his cheek. "I hope you know that and if I could go back and change anything, I would not. You're everything and more than I could have ever dreamt." His smile faded slowly.

"I love you, Dean Winchester. Forever." The sad smile returned.

***

3 months later:

"Look Jo, I can't afford any more. My job is on edge, and these bills are costing me more than I have." He listened to her response over the receiver impatiently.

"I CAN'T!" His tone was horrifyingly loud. "I can't." he muttered calmly this time. "Okay." He hung up and and crawled over and into the once shared bed. His eyes dripped the saltwater tears and dampened Dean's pillow. 'I can't do this anymore.' He squinted his eyes as a familiar aching in the back of his skull crept upon him.

He wanted company. He wanted to talk to someone.

"Charlie?" his voice was small. "Can you come over?" Soon after he placed his phone back on the table.

She was over in moments. "I'm so sorry doll," She hugged Cas and pulled him over to the couch.

The pain in his head sharpened and intensified to an unbearable feeling as they went. "Gah!" He grasped the back of his head and fell to the floor. His body shook with threat.

"Cas!"


	6. Old Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels man. So many feels.

Cas' body was shaking. A seizure... but why? Charlie was one of the closest members of S.W.A.G. besides Dean. "Shh, shh." She tried to hush him while holding his head in her lap. She knew that he couldn't afford a hospital, but it seemed urgent. She grabbed a pillow from the nearby couch and placed it under his head whilst she went to go call a hospital.

"I need an ambulance. My... boyfriend is having a seizure." She twirled hair in her fingers lightly. "Yes ma'am, 5041 North Trail Dr." She huffed impatiently and hung up.

She returned to Cas attempting to sit up. "No, no, honey." She ran over and supported his back.

"What happened?" His voice was groggy and rough. She wanted him to rest, but panic would be an obvious reaction.

"You had a seizure. Don't worry, I called the emergency hotline." His eyes widened. "You can't stay here. You're hurt and we need to find out why." He shook his head and got up slowly.

"I'm. Fine." he growled. "It's not like it's the first time." Now it was Charlie who was panicking.

"You're insane!" She was enraged. He was her best friend and she didn't know about this. "You could be dying and you never thought to tell me?" He shook his head. He felt like crying.

"After... Dean, everything happening, I can't afford to worry about anything else." A tear slipped from his eye. "I can't say I'm not ready to go. In fact, it would be a blessing for it all to be over." Charlie's eyes became glossy with emotion. The desiderium that Cas had for Dean was unbearable.

"You can't wait any longer." She shook her head and sniffled. "Besides, they're already on their--" A knock at the door cut her off. She ran to open it and two EMTs walked in with a gurney.

"Sir, we need you to come with us. You're ill." He shook his head and backed up. "Sir," The shorter, dark haired EMT stepped forward. "We need you to comply." Castiel know that there was no fighting this. He took a step forward and they helped him up onto the gurney. Charlie waved as they rolled him away.

***

The hospital room was cold and he wanted to leave. The X-Ray was slow, and it all left him with chills. His attention was undivided as the doctor walked in. "Hello again, Mr. Matthews." Castiel nodded and waited for the okay to go home. "I'm afraid I do not have news you want to hear."

His moral dropped. He couldn't focus and he wanted to sleep. "You have a cancer that is not diagnosed very often. They it PNET, also known as a primitive neuroectodermal tumor. Being a medulloblastoma, we are not to operate on you. We have treatments ranging from $1600 to $2500, though most choose to live the rest of their life in peace." Cas thought back to Dean and his responsibility. He needed to keep Dean alive. He needed to fulfill his promise. Castiel only shook his head no.

"I'm going to check out, and live my life." He bit his lip for another moment. "Whatever is left of it." Dr. Tennant gave a sad smile.

"As you wish."

***

It wasn't too long before Cas was checked out and in Dean's room again. "Hey," Other people wouldn't believe Dean could hear him, but Cas did. "I know I'm sick right now, but I won't leave you." His constant headache thrumming against the back of his skull. "I made you a promise that I intend on keeping." Tears slid down his face as he began to worry. "I know you're going to be there for me. Any time I need you... but I want to be here for you when you wake up."

The doctor's words shuffle through his brain. "Yeah," he wiped his tears and left a kiss on Dean's cheek.

***

It had been 1 month and 6 days since his cancer diagnostic. Every day his head hurt from the time he awoke and to the moment went to sleep. He had been fighting. Every day seemed of lesser value than the last, but still he fought. For Dean.

"Charlie?" His voice was hushed.

"Hm?"

"What if I don't make it? What if I never see Dean open his eyes again?" Charlie was quiet for a moment.

"I would tell you to shut the hell up and stop talking like that." She brushed a few red hairs behind her ear. "Your equanimity isn't in place. It's out of whack."

"Yeah," He stood from the sidewalk and waited for a taxi. "I'm going to see Dean."

The car ride felt like the first time he had come to Chicago. It was long and cold. He was always cold now though. He got out and stared up at the hospital.

Dean was still motionless on his bed. The same bed he had laid in for months straight. Today had been searingly painful. Everything hurt. His arms and legs were sore and his head. His head was unbearable. "I love you," Pain laced itself through his voice. "I'm--"

Pain stabbed at him from all sides. He dropped to his hands and knees. "No." He whispered. "I'm not ready--" Another stab and he fell flat. His body shook. He slowed and his breath did too. It slowed until it stopped. All of it. The pain, the fighting, everything; it was over.

The funeral was a week later. Not many people knew Cas that well. Charlie and Bobby came. Dean would have too, but he wasn't conscious. Aside from the two, it was a lonely ceremony.

***

Charlie began to see Dean everyday for weeks after. She always made sure she talked to him and took care of him.

"I know it seems stupid, but--" Dean fell into a fit of coughing and the heart rate monitor beeped rapidly. "Dean?" Her mood had changed quickly. "Dean! Help!" She ran out into the hallway. "Somebody help!"

Doctors and nurses ran in, slamming the door behind them. Charlie stood out in the hallways pacing back and forth after half an hour.

The door opened and all but one nurse filed out. "Miss? You may see him now." She power walked in and saw Dean's luscious green eyes.

"Hey," he grumbled.

"Hey," She smiled.

"Can I see Cas?" This sparked the sobbing. She shook her head with a face gripped with pain.

"He's, um... moved on." Dean's slight smile dropped. "But every second he was alive, he loved you."

"He's dead?" The nurse left. She knew it was a personal moment. "Wh-What happened?" His face red with emotion, he placed his hands over his face.

"Cancer." was all she could get out.

He removed his hands and his green eyes were surrounded by pink.

"Okay," he whispered.


	7. My Appreciation

I would really just like to take a few moments to thank everyone for all of the support and reads. It means a lot to me and I thank you dearly. <3


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